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Nearing the End

February 26th, 2015 at 05:05 pm


I think kitty isn't going to last much longer. My heart hurts, but at the same time I feel bad for him, and just want him to let go and be at peace. I don't wish for him to suffer.

I've only slept a couple hours in the past 2 days. I've stayed up all night with him because I was sure he wasn't going to make it. Yesterday he went back to the vet and got more steroids, and he was surprisingly up and walking, eating, etc.

But that only lasted a couple hours, and then he was back, flat on his side. He can't control his muscle movement, and his legs are "peddling". His eyes are flicking uncontrollably back and forth, and he is getting distressed. He starts crying, and even when I hold him he doesn't seem to realize I'm there. His stare is blank. The vet thinks he has a brain tumor, but they say he doesn't act like he is in pain. I think he is just scared, and it is horrible to watch. I want to snuggle and comfort him, but moving him or touching him seems to cause a panic so I'm trying to just talk to him and leave him be.

I've cried for over 18 hours straight, and have been so upset I've made myself physically sick and am having tremors.

It's crazy that he can be up eating, walking, using the littler box, and be normal. Then in a matter of hours he is limp and unable to lift his head. Few hours later he might just randomly sit up and be fine again. I've never seen an animal go up and down that fast.

Pray for his peace, and my strength. I'm loosing my best buddy, and my heart is breaking.

15 Responses to “Nearing the End”

  1. michdado Says:

    You are in my thoughts Klarose

  2. Ima saver Says:

    I am so sorry. I know how much this hurts. I pray for his suffering to end.

  3. Debt-free by Thir-ty Says:

    I can't even imagine the pain you're going through, but I do know how much I love my animals and how devastated I'd be. I'll keep you in my prayers.

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    I am so sorry! That must be very hard on both of you. Wishing you both well in this time of transition.

  5. VS_ozgirl Says:

    So sorry to hear your sad news, pets always own a piece of our hearts Frown

  6. klaorse Says:

    He is having trouble breathing and I just want it to be over. Frown i can't bare to see him suffering anymore. I don't how I'm going to bury him, the ground is frozen for the foreseeable future.

  7. Looking Forward Says:

    I'm so sorry for you and kitty! Frown May you find peace in all the happy memories you have and the good care you have given your furry friend. ((HUGS))

  8. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I am so sorry. Frown

  9. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Have you thought about cremating him? I did that with my cat Monkey who was a huge part of my life for the first ten years of my adulthood. You can then keep the ashes, or bury them when the ground is soft again.

  10. Bluebird Says:

    I am so sorry. Prayers for kitty and you. {{Hugs}}

  11. tarajunki Says:

    I went through this with my dog Abby almost four years ago. I got her when she was a puppy...she started to sleep on the foot of my bed and did it all the years of her life,14 years. About four years ago when she got sick I carried her up the stairs and laid her on my bed so she could still sleep with me.

    She was my running buddy for most of her life and after she was gone I swore I would never run again, but did knowing that she would want me to still run. It was hard but eventually I realized she would always be with me on my runs.

    I feel so bad for you because I know the sadness...just remember, myself and these other sweet posters who have left kind messages for you are with you..

    Thinking of you,


  12. scottish girl Says:

    I am so sorry Frown

  13. BuckyBadger Says:

    How terrible!

    Is there a reason that you choose not to put him to sleep peacefully? With animals I feel very strongly that's it's better to end their suffering a day too soon rather than even an hour too late.

    Is there some expectation that he will return to a good quality of life?

    Poor kitty...

  14. BuckyBadger Says:

    As I re-read that comment I'm afraid that it sounds harsh. That's not my intention. I simply wanted to share my support and suggest that you consider all your options. I've had to make the hard decision for a few of my animals but that's why we're human - to make the hard decisions. Our animals have no concept of the "future," they only know that they hurt now.

    My sympathies are with you.

  15. klarose Says:

    BuckyBadger I strongly considered it. But he keeps rebounding. I did ask the vet about it, and they seemed pretty adamant that he didn't seem in pain, just out of it.

    Yesterday I could have sworn he was going to go any second. Today he is walking, purring, using the litter box, etc. At this time, I can not make the decision when his life will end, because he is trying very hard to hang on.

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