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Retirement Surprise & Grumpy Husband

October 4th, 2018 at 02:42 pm

Husband's new retirement contributions started this week. We were told they give you 10% of whatever you contribute which is a really awful match. But his paycheck is showing that they matched 50% of what he put it... So who knows. lol. We will take it!

Unfortunately husband had a bit of another melt down once he saw his spending get even smaller... I've asked him to do the budget himself or handle the finances but he won't. I think he believes I am taking all his money and spending it on myself or something. So frustrating.

I have everything mapped out to the dollar so everything is accounted for. But he just can't understand how he can make $400 more a month and it's already gone without increasing our fun money. He doesn't grasp that we were living check to check and that the $400 a month was floating on credit cards, and borrowing from his car money all the time.

I have always done all the budgeting and bills so I guess he just didn't realize how tight we were. I will have to keep encouraging him to be more involved in our finances, but it's like pulling teeth. Ugh.

He is going to have to start paying union dues next week which will be another $10 a week out. But he should be receiving a $20 a week raise in the next month, so it will even out.

I'm not sure how much fun money he is wanting a week. If he would just give me a number I would just let him have it and figure out a way to cover the difference so he stops driving me crazy. I don't think he even knows or really wants more. I think he is just upset that he is working a harder job and doesn't feel like he is getting anything more from it compared to his old job. I'm sure he will settle down eventually, just one of those moods.

4 Responses to “Retirement Surprise & Grumpy Husband”

  1. rob62521 Says:

    Is there any way you can get him to sit down with you when you pay bills? When DH and I were first married. he was used to having a big wad of cash in his pocket and thought he should continue to do so. He lived at home before we married, didn't have a credit card, didn't have a checking account, and didn't pay rent. He did buy groceries and took his mom out to eat. When we married, we bought a house and with it came all the bills. He thought he should be able to have to cash he did before that. I finally made him sit down with me each week for a month and had him write out the checks and pay the bills. It opened his eyes how precarious it was. I hope you can do the same.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    It can be tough for the person who's not managing the money to feel like a raise did nothing. Just make sure you celebrate how on track you are with him and give him lots of credit for helping you guys get out of the hand-to-mouth cycle you were in before. And maybe when you hit certain milestones in savings or debt payment, give yourselves mini-bonuses of spending money, something to look forward to. Everyone needs a pressure valve...

  3. Jenn Says:

    Maybe you misunderstood and the 401k is a 50% match up to 10% of pay. That would be a good deal.

    You may need to have a discussion with your hubby on priorities and goals. Make sure the two of you do have some alignment. CJ's idea of celebrating financial milestones is good: debt paid, mortgage down to a big milestone, or retirement savings at a big milestone.

  4. mumof2 Says:

    When I started our journey of debt vs sickness (yes everything completely changed within 6 months for us) my hubby was a bit skeptical, we always bought what we wanted etc and I did the finances so when we started making less than 50% of our income I devised a plan to be a cheapskate and pay off all the debt we have and was hard for him at first but each month I would show him the progress and now he is a bigger cheapskater than me, we never pay full price for anything...we are doing good but it does take time....write up some goals that are achievable soon and put them up and then he can see how things are going etc...celebrate when you reach those goals...good luck

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