We got some sad news last week.
My husband's best friend is too nice. His family is lazy, has a lot of kids, and is dirt poor. They have always struggled badly. As the older brother he has always felt the need to help them out, and they take advantage of him. He moved back in with them to help. For some more back story they live in a shed they fixed up in someone's back yard. He shares a very small room with his two younger brothers...
He pays the bills, keeps the heat on, feeds the kids, loans them money, etc. He can not/will not say no. They have opened personal loans in his name and credit cards. He is naive and let them on their word of they will pay him back. They even convinced him to buy a house in his name for them this year. Thankfully it fell through.
He is not good with money, but he isn't bad. He works hard, and pays his bills. But he doesn't really understand interest rates, saving, etc. He is going to school full time, does an unpaid internship full time, and works full time. He is pulling 16 hour days. His mom has never worked, and his dad is a part time "handy man." (eye roll)
Well last week out of the blue he told us that his parents have so much debt in his name that he is drowning and can no longer keep up with the bills. His only option would be to drop out of school and the internship so he could pick up a second job which he doesn't want to do. I think he wants a quick fix. So he came up with his great idea that he would join the military and use the sign on bonus to pay off his debt, and they would pay for his school.
This guy is not cut out for the military. He is sensitive, quiet, and way too meek and kind. I think it would ruin him. He isn't excited about it or wants to do it but in his head it is the only way to get out of the mess.
He only has $20-$30k debt. We told him we would help him budget and if he got a better job he could pay it off. He says he will never get anywhere unless he gets away from his parents. Which I agree, but he has been unsuccessful finding a roommate and can't afford to live on his own. Husband's parents offered to let him live with them. (He is like family and has lived with them when he was younger.) But he refuses to pause school to pay down the debt.
He sprung this on us last week and said he was going to meet with a recruiter. Husband advised him to not sign up for anything and think about it for a while. We invited him over for the weekend so we could sit down and work out a solution for him. Well the next day he called back and said he signed up. Husband is ticked and says he has made up his mind and refuses to try and reason with him anymore. But I think he is making a horrible split second decision and is going to regret it.
I am so mad and sick about this. How DARE his parents use him, and take advantage, and feel no remorse about him having to join the military to pay for them. Oh BTW his mom is on vacation in Florida right now...
It is sad that he is making a life changing decision over $20k in debt. His parents are toxic, and once he gets out he is just going to get into the same mess again if he can't learn to tell them no and budget better.
Ugh. Just needed to rant. He has signed up but not sworn in yet. So I'm not sure if it is too late now. But I am still hoping he comes to his senses. Husband is being mad about it right now and doesn't want to talk about it, but I know he is upset and hurt. His friend stays at our house several times a month and even has a toothbrush here. Friend lived at his parents house during their teenage years (family couldn't afford their kids), so they are like brothers. I think he feels betrayed that his friend signed up without even talking to him about it first.
Pray that he makes the right decision.
We got some sad news last week.