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Am I Crazy?

January 6th, 2016 at 09:29 am

I am seriously considering going back to my old job and ditching the vet job. Am I crazy? I've only been working 11 weeks.

I felt stressed at my last job. But it pales in comparison to the new job. At the old job I had a lot of responsibilities, and they constantly stretched me thin. I felt overworked and undervalued, but they were nice to me and I had a lot of privileges.

The new job, the boss is literately crazy and down right mean. It's constant eggshells of worrying about making a mistake and getting fired. I like working with animals, but the coworkers on my shift are short with me, and don't like to chat or really have anything to do with me. I pretty much just try to stay out of the way, and keep my mouth shut. I am a super sensitive person, and do NOT take well to harsh criticism.

It's tough learning a new job, I know that sounds kind of petty but at the vet I am constantly scolded and made to feel like I am stupid. I am quite intelligent, and really I was VERY good at my last job. So it's a hard pill to swallow going from the top to the bottom.

Maybe I didn't have it as bad as I thought previously. I wonder if I would truly be happy anywhere, or if I'm always going to want something else. Maybe it's me who sabotages my work because I take things too personally, and because I try too hard to please everyone.

My current way of thinking is that it has been over a year now that I quit. They would happily take me back, and I feel like I've grown and matured enough that I could stand up for myself, and not let people take advantage of me anymore. I could pick how much I'm willing to work, and how many duties I would take on, and I believe they would agree to anything at this point. I think they have realized how valuable I was, now that they are over a barrel. I think I could handle the stress better, because now I can actually see that I was worth something, and I don't feel like I have to make everyone happy or owe them anything.

But I am worried I am looking at it with rose colored glasses, because it has been a while and I am forgetting the things that made me crazy.

At the old job, I was mostly frustrated and overworked. At the new job, I am treated like crap. If I can make it through a day without being yelled at, and feeling hurt and upset then it's a success. I wasn't excited to go to my old work (it was boring and tedious), but at least I didn't feel anxious about making mistakes. Frustrated is starting to sound better than upset. The vet owner has actually told me and the rest of the workers that she is our master and that we have to do anything she says because we are nothing. She took away our breaks, and then said we could have them back if we begged and groveled. I mean really, who says that?

The other issue is that my web design business just lost our biggest client. And I am beginning to worry about the future of the company. That combined with the fact that I could get fired at a moments notice at the vet it beginning to make me feel unstable. Especially since we couldn't live on husband's income alone, and we are wanting to take on more payments.

I am making minimum wage at the vet. They promised I would get a raise after my 90 days. But after seeing how stingy and self centered the owner is, I'm not counting on much. I'm starting to wonder if minimum wage is worth being constantly anxious and treated poorly.

On the other hand, if I stuck it out and learned more and got better maybe I would feel more relaxed and not make as many mistakes.

I'm just not sure anymore. For some reason I am feeling the pull back to my old job. Not because anyone is forcing me to. (They have stopped asking) But just looking at the pros and cons. I can take off whenever, come in late if I have an emergency, stay home if I'm sick, etc. As compared to being fired if I'm over 5 minutes later for any reason. (weather, flat tire, anything)

I would miss getting to talk to people, and I am learning a lot of animal stuff. But I've been super sick lately and I am wondering if it isn't stress related from the job.

Please, knock some sense into me.

20 Responses to “Am I Crazy?”

  1. Chatterbox Says:

    Lol you will get no sense knocked into you from me. I left my last minimum wage toxic job last april and haven't looked back.. fnancialy ive been feeling poor but i had an old job before that that i still work casual for and ive been getting more shifts lately.. so id say get out fast! I wasted 15 months in my toxic job but my self esteem and confidence took a huge nose dive to the point i felt sick going to work and would cry when talking aboit it.

    if you've got something else to go back to, then i would.

  2. Butterscotch Says:

    Quit. I've been waiting for this post since your post about how the boss took away breaks and said she didn't have to pay people if they didn't clock in properly.

    Quit. And when you quit you should tell her why you are quiting, everything you mentioned above. Don't make up some other excuses to soften it for her. If you can't tell her then put it in a letter.

    Quit. Since you've only been there a short time I don't see you needing to ever put this experience on your resume or need them for a reference.
    Good luck...

  3. Petunia 100 Says:

    Speaking for myself, I would not stay someplace where my boss said things like "I am your master" and "I am cancelling your breaks, but you may have one back if you grovel".

    Best of luck to you, Klarose.

  4. MonkeyMama Says:

    I think neither options sounds really great. There are certainly much better employers out there!

    I would most definitely quit the vet job. Sounds like a very toxic work environment. I can't imagine sticking around even one day in a place like that. If you were really desperate we'd maybe encourage you to stick it out a wee bit until you found another job, but I get the feeling you could walk away today and will be better for it.

    As to the other job, I think your absence has probably bought you some well earned appreciation. My overall feeling is kind of "meh" on the whole thing though. People will promise you anything when they have pushed you too far. Employers grovel all the time when their employees quit but rarely follow through. That said, maybe you have changed and they have changed and you can reach some common ground. I'd maybe consider it on more of a trial basis and then be seeking out other employment opportunities. Just so you have some income in the interim while you get away from the psycho job.

    Good Luck!

  5. klarose Says:

    Oh Butterscotch the time clock messed up on ME last week, and she literally told me if it happened again I was gone. Like really, it took 30 seconds to fix. I totally agree that the vet job is toxic. But I guess my biggest worry is going back to my old job. I complained a lot about it as well, and I don't want to get stuck there again if nothing has changed. I don't want to be overworked again. I am considering telling them I will give it a try, and that it may only be temporary until I find something else. Then if I decide I can handle it better, I can always stay. But I want to be clear to them that it may not be permanent if things start heading downhill again. I am far too nice, and do not want to be a doormat again.

    How does that work with resumes? I was under the assumption it was required to put all of your recent jobs on there. Can I leave it off? Every other job I've worked loved me and was very sad to see me go. I'm upset that they don't value me as a worker, and definitely don't want it to ruin job opportunities in the future.

  6. klarose Says:

    Thanks MoneyMama! You posted as I was typing. I'm kind of meh on it too. Which is why I think a trial basis is a great idea. It will give me some money in the mean time, and I can look for another job at my leisure.

  7. creditcardfree Says:

    Is there a third option? If you go back to your old job, I would let them know it is possible that it is temporary or a trial basis. That way you can be looking for another job. I definitely think the vet is insane! Do customers see the side of the vet you see? That person shouldn't be in business.

    I also agree that an 11 week job doesn't NEED to be put on a resume. However, you may get asked about that period of unemployment. I sure don't know that I'd want anyone call the vet for a reference!

  8. klarose Says:

    Well I am still working with Web Design company creditcardfree, so technically there wouldn't be a blank spot in my work history. Wink
    The customers do not see or interact with the crazy owner very often. I didn't even know she existed until I started working. I think if more people knew her, they would start loosing business. Which is sad because they are a very good vet clinic. I still enjoy them, and will continue to take my animals there. It's just not a good place of employment.

    My close friends are encouraging me not to go back to the old job. I'm going to see if I can find anything else. But the fact remains that I can't go without pay, so I will have to go back to the old job if I can't find another option.

  9. creditcardfree Says:

    Oh, yes, you do have the web job...so no worries on the work history. Yep, I'd completely skip it mentioning it on any resumes! Go with your gut instinct.

  10. MonkeyMama Says:

    I wouldn't even put it on your resume - definitely agree with the others..

  11. ceejay74 Says:

    I think it makes sense to approach the old job and say "look, I can't do the full job I was before, but I'll handle X, X and X for $XX. But I want to be upfront that if I start getting assigned more than that, I'll have to leave again." If they want you bad enough, hopefully they'll be scared into sticking to that.

  12. Buendia Says:

    I don't know if this helps, but the BEST thing I ever did was quit a job that was terrible. It was many years ago, and it was my first job in architecture, and they were terrible to me. I still think fondly of the day that I gave them two weeks' notice. Here's why I quit: when I called my mom at lunch one day crying because of work she told me: "They need you more than you need them."

  13. patientsaver Says:

    It doesn't sound like either job is right for you. I would be very wary about going back to the first job. A good job would not have people yelling at you all the time, so why limit yourself to just these 2 choices? The economy has recovered and there are many more good jobs out there. The thing is, although you say you don't think you'd let them take advantage of you again at job #1, you have a history there, they all know you, so it will be hard to convince them you're not going to be the same person as you were before.

    And yes, there was a job or two I held for such a brief time that I didn't bother putting it on my resume. There are no gaps; for me as a writer, it's easy to say I was doing my own freelancing during that time. You could do the same with web design work. I'd start looking for a new job entirely. Going back to an old sucky job is like trying to make it work with an ex-boyfriend. It just doesn't work.

  14. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    I agree with the others - Quit.

    You also may want to try to document the worst of what was said/done. For the life of me I can't think of the name/term for it - but I would check with the people who cover fair employment practices / laws and see if any action could be taken against your employer.

  15. snafu Says:

    You have described a toxic environment, no employer is worth upset, threats or tears. There is no reason to add the vet clinic job to your resume. If anyone ever asks you about that brief job, you can keep it simple by saying it was 'a poor fit.' I don't see any benefit to leaving on negative terms. You get a few moments of satisfaction but that ghastly manager may be able to retaliate sometime in the future.

    In my opinion your previous employer's demands were unreasonable, borne out by their inability to retain staff. You will need to be strong to keep them from taking over your life for modest pay but you may feel differently.

    I hope the economy in your area has become stronger and you quickly find more agreeable work at a reasonable pay. Have you started telling everyone you know that you're looking for work? Most jobs are never advertised but filled by personal referral.

  16. snafu Says:

    I wonder if FT was thinking of the term 'constructive dismissal.'

  17. Kiki Says:

    I haven't read all the comments but I fail to understand why it is only these two jobs? Are they the only businesses?

    Find another job. It not be simple but find another job where they value you, and appreciate you and do not Harris you (or do illegal things like not giving you breaks or paying you for an error). And when I left the vet office I would call your department of fair employment and report her. Also, to the vet board. They have ethical standards to uphold.

    You can find another job!!

  18. VS_ozgirl Says:

    I'm with everybody here Klarose, give them the flick! Sometimes we can get sucked into working somewhere where the people aren't nice; and that's life; but to be somewhere in an environment like that every day will eventually poison you. Above all, remember not to take the idiotic manager's behaviour personally. I mean, who would say that they are your master?? And if they are ready to fire you at a moment's notice I would most definitely look elsewhere. You don't need that toxic behaviour in your life and they have made it clear that they don't believe they need you. Good luck to you. Ps I worked somewhere for one day and never went back because they were so awful on the first day (my lunch break was driving 15 minutes to the bank if you can believe that!) and the manager was a total cow. You've only been there 11 weeks, not long enough for them to rely on you or really care too much; so I wouldn't stress about it.

  19. CB in the City Says:

    Quit. But don't go back to the other job. You quit that one, too, for good reasons. If you are correctly assessing yourself as having a tendency to be a doormat, you must avoid situations where people are only too happy to take advantage of that. Your former employers already know your tendencies too well. Don't let have at you again. Talk is cheap; they won't be different, except on the surface.

    I am guessing you are in a rural environment, where jobs are not plentiful? Don't be afraid to commute to an area where professionalism is the norm. Small towns are notorious for bad employment options and bad employers. IMHO!

  20. klarose Says:

    Thanks for all the feedback guys.

    I do live in a rural community, and job choices are limited to fast food, retail, or full-time. Or I can drive an hour plus away to a bigger city, which is not worth it at this point. Especially with snow coming soon. I guess I'm looking at the old job because it's easy. I don't have to relearn anything. I'm good at it, and I know what to expect. Also, I can quit the vet job ASAP and not have to wait until I can find something else.

    I did approach my previous boss and said I might be interested. I laid down my demands, that I would only work 3 days a week instead of 5 or 6, and I wouldn't being doing split shifts anymore. I also said I wouldn't be staying over to finish things up due to missed deadlines by other people. Before that he actually offered that the person who is handling things now would be willing to pick up any work that I don't have time to finish.

    He told me to think about it some more before I decided. I felt no pressure. He did tell me he has mellowed down some, which I do believe and have seen in the last year. But actions are different then words. It sounds like we have came to a good compromise, but I guess there is no way of telling if it would stick or not without giving it a try.

    Lots to think about.

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